Boiled over

[Cal Mensen]

Cal enters the dorm, his eyes adjusting to the darkness. After a while he sees the form of Wren, his back rising and falling from underneath the blanket. After staring for a little while, Cal moves to the other end of the dorm, finding a desk with a light to turn on.

Searching the shelves for paper and a writing implement, he begins to write a letter. After about an hour of crossing out and rewriting, Cal stares at the letter. He walks over to Wren, laying it down on the nightstand next to him. He smiles softly at the sleeping form, turning around and leaving the dorm, closing the door gently behind him. He sits down on the floor on the other side, back against the door, trying to focus his thoughts.

The note reads:

Wren,

I never apologized to you regarding Gwen. Both relationships began inside the training center, and I was never open with either of them to either of you. Me and Gwen ended when the hijacked announcement was made, knowing that whatever we had would end when we walked out that door. Ours... I don't think either of us intended for it to end that day.

I did grow up an orphan in District 12, but not for long. The Head Peacekeeper took me in at a young age, providing me with guidance and shelter. I was shaped to be a mirror, to study the environment around me and best reflect on others in order to gain advantage of the situation. If I came across resistance, I would side-step, change the circumstances in order to survive. This drive is... almost without thought; it was my motivation, my reason for living. I entered the Capital with the full intention of surviving the events to return home.

Everything changed when I met you guys. I learned what it meant to live, to really enjoy life and meaningful company. I thought you could have used a friend, someone to cheer you up and cheer you on. When you kissed me that day, I was giddy. It was all so exciting, our teasing felt so right, I didn't want to leave that. I forgot about home, I only wanted to keep you safe. Seeing Vester shoot you, I raged, I felt like I was failing.

Day 1 at the Watchtower, I had followed your advice. I met up with our allies, began to work on identifying friend from foe. Summing Sharlot up, I toyed with her, attempted to mess with her head. It was sadistic, but the idea of her, a peacekeeper, claiming to be a tribute and a founding member of the Accord, I wanted to see her squirm. It was like regressing into my old ways, but it got results. As for Val and Gwen, Val admitted to being a peacekeeper like me, checking her out wouldn't result in anything confirmed. Gwen was one of two people hacking the point that day, the other being Sharlot. Gwen was more effective, the point turned for the rebels. I was confident she was with us.

When we had to move, the three of us were convinced we should stick together, an effective unstoppable team. Then I saw you, down at the Marketplace, remembering how you were shot. The Watchtower was on the way to the hospital, there was a good chance you'd be making your way over here. Despite their protests, I told Val and Gwen I would be staying. I wouldn't be able to forgive myself if I had missed you and you had endangered yourself again. I asked them to send you to me if you had stuck around the Marketplace, figured I would have my bases covered.

I don't think I'll have a better day than we had on Day 2. Who would think we could have a moment of peace, of privacy for just us two to share. Our information complimented each other, we were able to map out the world around us. With you at my side, it wasn't about surviving, it was about living again. Things did move fast for us, but I think it was worth it anyways.

When I had some time to myself to reflect, after having received the Jabberjay, I reflected on your words from earlier that day. I found your hesitance to meet the Market team as a possible secret intent, trying to keep yourself out of the spotlight. Your suggestion to just tell the group that I had vetted you without trying, I thought it was a reckless idea that may have been driven by deviant motivation. My mind latched onto the idea, creating a possible scenario where you were a deep cover agent. This would continue to haunt me through the whole rebellion, causing me to second guess every decision we made together. I had to know for sure who you were, otherwise I couldn't continue.

I'm sorry Wren. I'm sorry that I had another relationship while I was with you. I'm sorry for withholding information from you, fueled by my paranoia. I'm sorry that I had been giving favoritism towards Gwen when she sure as hell doesn't deserve it. I'm sorry for not recognize the strength you were exerting, your effort and heart in trying to reach your dream. You're not helpless, you don't need protecting, and you're trying your damnedest to make a difference. And you've been able to do all this while being honest, forward and consistent. I envy your drive and your character.

I've already gathered my notes on you earlier today. By this evening, I'll know for sure your background. I should have come to you first, I should have communicated better. You fucking deserve better, and I haven't lived up to the faith you had put in me. I love you, but I understand that isn't enough. Hit me, yell at me, fuck me, do whatever you need to take all of this in. If I'm going to lay my cards out on the table, it will be for you and you alone.

I'll be outside the door, rethinking how I should have written this letter. I am a terrible person, but I won't stop fighting for the Accord. For a free Panem. For you.

- Cal

[Wren Hartwood]

Wren awoke mid-afternoon to find a note left on the nightstand near him, with his name on it. He sat up, a bit puzzled, opened the note, and began to read. His expressive face ranged from inspired, touched, to irritated, and finally heavy contemplation. He sat for a few moments in silence before deciding what to do next. Eventually, he got up, opened the door to find Cal sitting on the floor, and motioned for him to come inside and discuss things.

When Cal follows him, he closes the door, shoves Cal into it hard, torn between kissing him and punching him. He gives Cal a long, stern look as he attempts to read what's in Cal's mind at this very moment. He decides on neither action, and releases Cal as he sinks down onto the bed, leaning against the wall.

"Well..." Wren let out a sigh. "Your writing is fucking beautiful, so thanks for the note. Maybe I should have had you write my book on peace instead." Wren attempted to smile, although it probably came out more like a grimace. "Your past...I get it. You are who you are. And in some ways, we're similar. I've had to pretend I'm something I'm not as well, remember. I've had to fit in in a district full of macho bearded lumberjacks when at heart I'm a scrawny peaceful little bird of a person. Your mind play is as natural as my recklessness when I feel I need to be taken seriously. I almost killed a kid trying to prove I'm tough and not to be messed with. I'm sorry if I've upset you by any advances or by getting myself shot, but I wouldn't take back any of those things even if I could." Wren looked up at Cal.

"As for the Gwen thing...I have been and sorta still am kinda pissed and hurt by it, that it wasn't a one night thing like I had assumed. But that's you. I can't control that. And I'm glad her hacking conveyed she's legit, but if I hacked today, it might have confirmed my identity too, without you wasting time on it. You didn't even speak to me or ask me before snooping. You could have been much more productive for our team, which pisses me off, because I've been nothing but open and honest with you since day one. Sure, sometimes I play a bit ambiguously, but it's only to survive a little longer and be of more help to my team whether it's gathering info from peacekeepers or just trying not to get shot again. I know if I'm too reckless too early on, I'd end up hurting you and Eloise indirectly and being useless to my team in this war. I won't waste my time snooping on you. You could very well be deep under cover and lying about the Peacebringer thing, but that's a risk I'm willing to take for now. Maybe that's me, being reckless again."

"I don't expect you to know this, but I wrote some things after I met you and hid them in the alcove. Here's a few small bits that I remember...
'Peacekeepers should help keep the peace-not bring violence. In many districts, peacekeepers have beaten, tortured, and killed many innocent citizens. Life has not been kind to those in certain districts, regardless of loyalty to the Capitol. I hope when this is found, things have changed. If I am not able to change the world, perhaps I can inspire change in the relationship between peacekeepers and ordinary citizens. ...(I then talked about the phoenix accord)...Then I met Cal. He confided to me early on that he was a peacekeeper. I didn't care. We fell in love-something unheard of in these Games. Something unheard of between a peacekeeper and a normal tribute. We made a pact to protect each other. We shared our feelings about the games, shared information. We were in this together. We had such peaceful times together. Then everything changed.

This year, there is no Hunger Games. This year, the Games are a real-life war in the Capitol. This year, I am told I'm a rebel and that Cal is my enemy. Cal could never be my enemy. Cal would always be my friend. This year, one of us will die, likely at the hand of the other. I had no goal of disrupting government. I simply wanted peace. Despite Vester's plans to drive us all apart from the start, we found it. We found a beautiful thing, and we called it peace. Even if it was short-lived. If a kid like me can create something so beautiful working together with a peacekeeper, why can't we all live in peace together? Why should we be killing each other? No one should have to die. But I would die for peace.'"

Wren attempted to read Cal's expressions as he recited part of his story. He finally spoke one more time, "So...don't be upset if I do something reckless within the next few days. It was never my intention to return home to Seven. I'm here to help you, Eloise, and our Accord get as far as you can. Your goal was to survive this thing. When the war's over, perhaps we can be of some use in the world. I'm not yet certain of my own purpose or if I'll survive til the end, but I know you would be a great person to inspire all of the peacekeepers to become peacebringers."

[Cal Mensen]

Cal wakes out of a light sleep as the door opens behind him. Seeing Wren behind him, he stands up and follows his direction inside. After closing the door behind him, there is a loud thud that knocks through the door.

As Wren pushes him against the door, his expression is that of quiet acceptance. He remembered what he wrote, and accepted whatever was coming. After receiving the long stern look, Cal frowned, still unsure of how Wren was feeling at this point. He stands in front of Wren's bed, listening to his words, smiling at the initial compliment and his understanding.

Feeling a bit chastised over his approach today, Cal sits cross-legged on the floor. "I wasn't sure how you would react if I had talked to you initially. Honestly, I think you would have talked me out of it, not the first time that's happened. And you're right, having you hack would have served the same purpose and would have been more productive for the Accord. I just wasn't sure what was going to happen if you were really a peacekeeper, so I took precautions. I guess on a similar note, I feel investigating me would be an even greater waste of time. I'm a peacekeeper, and that will be the result, but it wouldn't spell my intent. Actually... if I was a rebel, me claiming to be a reformed peacekeeper would have been a bold risk to try and flush other peacekeepers from the woodworks. Maybe you're on to something."

He nods in appreciation, continuing to listen. As Wren described his writings, his demeanor slackens, any trace of a mask melting away. He's fighting back tears, moved by the words and feeling like he better understands Wren. He sighs as Wren finishes, giving him a small smile.

"I think we're both trying to do the same thing, like two dancers each insisting to lead, stepping on each others' toes. Let's be clear: if the rebels win, I'll probably be executed. This isn't some young adult novel where everything's going to turn out right in end, but I don't have to tell you that. I'll trust you're doing the right thing, but I expect the same treatment if I'm being ambiguous. Both of us trusting that we're each doing what's best for the Accord, the people, each other."

He moves to Wren's bed, sitting down next to him. Cal moves one arm across his shoulders, turning Wren to face him, inches from one another. He pauses, awaiting Wren's response.

[Wren Hartwood]

Wren sits next to Cal, listening to his response. He's still not fully satisfied with how things have turned out, but there's nothing he can do about that now.

"You're right. This isn't some young adult novel where things are tied up with a neat little bow. This is a war. This is a war-game, and people are playing roles and lying to each other, each just trying to survive."

Wren sighed. "I guess we're good. I'm still pissed you wasted what could have been more productive time, though. Speaking of that, I've still got time to accomplish one more thing today. Any suggestions?"

Wren leaned back against the footboard of the bed, resting his elbows on top. "If you think you have a good shot at the gun, I'll let you have it. Otherwise, I'd make a grab for one. I can't let those other two snag it. Or, I could make an attempt at more food and pay Eloise back if I need to. OR I could assume one of those guys is hacking for peacekeepers and hack for rebels, potentially giving myself away. OR I could spy on Lartius or someone from the hospital, to identify another ally or enemy...honestly, I'm not even sure which would be the most useful. Probably either hacking or spying? The market group day 1 was really concerned about keeping at least 3 rebel points per day...I feel they'd want me to hack. But hacking could be useless if BOTH of these guys are also hacking..."

"And I'll be damned if you're executed at the end of all this. I'm sure we can manage a pardon for you, and maybe Val. Alternatively, if peacekeepers win this thing, you might be executed either way..." Wren frowned, hoping for some advice for the remainder of his day.

[Cal Mensen]

Cal lays across the bed, staring up at the ceiling, contemplating Wren's words. He knew this wasn't going to all be resolved in one sitting, it'll take time to mend what's been broken.

"I've got a couple of ideas, let me know what you think."

Cal begins to whisper again, his words reflecting his thoughts bouncing off one another.

"My ability to find things is shit, and I've already made a go at the gun. I think I have it if no one else goes for it, but that's a long shot...
As for the spying on our guests, I believe it's not as effective as making a go at hacking the control point. If they don't hack it, we retain control and the Watchtower remains a Rebel bastion for at least another day. If they attempt to and its still a rebel point, we wouldn't have learned anything from them but we'll still have the point. If they beat us at a hack roll, at least we'll know which side at least one of them is fighting for. Any of these will be a gain for us."

He rolls over onto his stomach, looking up to Wren.

"That would put you at risk though. And even if we don't hack, we'll know who they are if they do. That's information for us, and if you can get your hands on that gun, we'd have the drop on them if they tried to hold the point next turn. This is your action though, I leave it to your best judgement."

Cal starts to move a hand towards Wren, but then stops, letting it rest on the bed next to his.

"Thank you, for everything you've done and will do for me. I wouldn't be here if it wasn't for you, and I don't want you to feel like you're not being appreciated."

[Wren Hartwood]

Wren nodded at Cal's suggestions. They were good thoughts, but ultimately it was Wren's decision. With so much raw talent, it was difficult for him to decide which direction to go. Of course, luck was always an issue. He's not the luckiest kid by any means. He'd made his decision and decided to update Cal.

"Alright. I'm making an attempt at the gun. I'm feeling lucky. If I can snag it, I'll share something with you at some point. I'm just worried about losing my bow and I need a backup, since I'm a better fighter than you." He playfully punched Cal's shoulder. "Or probably just a better person in general." Wren grinned, hoping Cal recognized the joke and didn't take too much offense to it.
He suddenly got very serious. "It's okay, though. Everyone needs a bad boy." He stuck his tongue out at him.

"The turrets have me worried, so I'm going to risk losing a rebel point for the day and hoping I can gain some info if either of these other guys hacks. I need to not die before meeting up with the rest of the accord. Speaking of, we should start considering where to go next. I've given up on hospital, I'm afraid. Especially if I want to make it to the market by day 5 for whatever awaits me then. So... would you want to stay together? Split for a day? I feel like we work well together, but I wouldn't want to overload an area. I have a feeling Eloise will come up here tomorrow, but I'm not sure. I'd like to see her, but I also understand holding the market is important for our group, especially if these guys hop over there. So...stay together? Split? Market or watchtower? Just gut feelings, mind you. We'll actually plan it out later, once we have more info."

[Cal Mensen]

Cal nods at Wren's logic, then turns into frustrated expression, but a smile breaks through.

"You'd be surprised how I can handle myself... You're so lucky you're cute. I'm glad I have a designated spot in the group."

He gives Wren's opposite shoulder a play punch, turning away as his smile turns into a grin. Listening to Wren's brainstorming session of where to go, he turns around, refocused.

"I have a hunch that more people will make their way to the Market as food supplies run short. I also think we make a good team, and its nice to have each others' backs. We should definitely meet up with the Accord on Day 5, as planned. Until then, I wouldn't mind taking advantage of the supplies and weapons stored here. Could give a nice advantage in the long run."

Cal acknowledges Wren's last words, remembering that these are ideas to start from. Once their actions bear results, they can adapt as need be.